1. Diving
Is there anything in all of humanity that incurs more hatred than seeing some namby-pamby, precious princess from the opposition do a full-on piked somersault with 2 and a half twists whenever a defender enters the same postcode as him?
2. That Argentinian bloke’s hair
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| Please, someone just cut it off in his sleep... |
3. The price of a half-time pie-and-pint
£6.50 for a swede and potato pasty? Even Torres offers better value, for God’s sake!
3. Full-kit fans
It should be illegal for anybody over the age of 8 to wear their team’s full strip to a game (or anywhere else, for that matter). Wearing a captain’s armband and putting “Big Dave” on the back of your shirt will only serve to make people lose any respect that they might have had for you.
4. That cheesy song that comes on at every ground after a goal
'Duh-da-duh, ba-duh-ba-da-duh...'
5. Half-and-half scarves
No. Just no. You support one team.
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| This look OK to you? |
6. Spitting
Disgusting and offensive - there's just no need.
7. Players’ excuses
“I couldn’t save that 35-yard shot, it ‘moved’.” As opposed to the good old days when you booted a ball and it would just get stuck in the mud.
8. Players who don’t who don’t know the words to their national anthem
We’re looking at you, Wayne.
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| "Errr.... what's the next bit?" |
9. That bloke in the pub who thinks he’s the Dalai Lama when it comes to footballing wisdom
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| "We should be playing a 5-3-4!" |
10. Foul throws
£80k a week and you can’t chuck a ball over your head? You don't deserve to live!
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